Five Minute Friday: The Wound that Never Heals

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I fractured my tail-bone four years ago during the hours of labor that led to the arrival of one of my greatest joys, a spunky girl who’s always singing but who was, at that time, just a sunny-side up miracle.

As my daughter grew, the pain in my back-side lessened, and I imagined that things back there were healing properly. However, strapped to a stretcher a little over a year later, the pain was back and more intense than ever. I had hurt that tender spot again.

One still-birth and one live-birth later, I’m in a mess of pain most days. We bump along the poorly-made and poorly-cared for streets of Kathmandu, and I wince and bite back the complaints on the tip of my tongue.

I often think, this wound will never heal, as it is constantly chipped at again and again.

As we bumped along on the way back to a hotel today to say good-bye to grandparents headed back to America after a sweet but short visit, my focus was more on the pain in my heart than on the bone that bounced upon the back-seat.

The wound there was big and gaping when we left for Nepal last March. Over-time, it began to heal and was bandaged by Face-time chats and care packages. But with each visit and each goodbye, cracks I thought were long-ago sealed re-emerge.

The TLC delivered is so needed and is medicine for motivation. My heart is certainly more helped than hurt, yet I am left with the somber presence of this thought, “I guess this wound will never heal.”

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And certainly it won’t for the Grandma and Grandpa with 6 grandbabies on 3 continents. I covet your prayers for these heroes of mine and the heavy hearts they are lugging back to America today.

15 Comments

  1. Oh what a beautiful, beautiful photo of your Mum and your little ones. Brings tears, as does your story. I know my Mum’s heart hurt so much having to keep saying goodbye to us (we live in the Netherlands and my parents lived in New Zealand). In many ways those last few months I had with my Mum, as she was dying, were such a gift: we were together. Oh how you must miss her…especially with all you’re going through. Praying over you both right now: Thank You Father God that You are covering Amber and her Mom and Dad with your feathers, and that they will find refuge under Your mighty wings; thank You that Your faithfulness will be their shield and rampart, as the enemy attacks them with emotions of deep grief, hopelessness and despair. That they will know that You are holding them tight through it all.

      • In many ways you can, Amber. I always say that to my American friend here that her annual saying goodbye is like losing her parents every year…even though she’ll see them again here on earth, the grief she feels is so much like the grief I feel…it’s just she knows she’ll see them sooner than me (unless Christ comes back very soon 😊). And yes, God’s love and encouragement is so beautiful in the midst of it all: He keeps sending me motherly friends who encourage and bless me.

  2. emhughsey

    Oh Amber, my heart is heavy for your pain and the goodbyes you have to say as you forge your own rough path together. So glad you got to spend time with them but it must reopen the wounds😞 hoping for some relief for your physical pain as well… (oh and beautifully written!)

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