4 Things to Remember in the Trenches of Motherhood [Day 11: remember]

My mother-in-law keeps a small notebook with her around the holidays to help her remember what she needs to pick up and for whom. She’s got 4 kids and 6 grandbabies in 4 countries — it’s complicated! She calls this pad of paper her “brain.” Since I am maybe the most forgetful person I know, I’ve been pondering my need to keep a small notebook with me at all times for all purposes. It’s the mom life, I suppose. Kids just do something to our brains. I keep seeing that ad for what babies do to a mom’s muscles resembling a smashed egg. They do that and more to our mental capacity — it’s cracked, scrambled, and fried!

My big dreams become a blur in the distance as my mind becomes tired and taxed by the chaos each day can bring. There is always a laundry list of things to remember and more things to do — yet they never seem to get done. Kids in the mix seem to further complicate matters me from getting done x, y, or z I think needs to be accomplished today or the world will stop spinning. Then they bring sickness, learning issues, general misbehavior, and at least 14 lbs of legos and dump them into my lap. Overwhelm isn’t even a strong enough word for these moments. Sometimes, childhood can seem like a pit we’ll never climb out of — but that’s not true. We are always on the up and up, inching towards adulthood and more independence for all. In these little years — which we not so lovingly refer to as the trenches at times — there are a few things we moms need to remember.

Remember Who Gave Them to You

God made you their mama. YOU. He knows what your weaknesses are. He wants you to depend on Him as you seek to glorify Him in motherhood. He desires that you would purposefully praise out of a place of peace only He provides. None of our junk scares or surprises Him. When we acknowledge our weaknesses and fall upon His grace, we give Him room to work miracles in the everyday messes of life with kids. God knows I put my phone in the fridge the other day, and He still trusts me with children. That in and of itself is a miracle!

Remember What You Love about Them

It’s not snot and temper tantrums, that’s for sure. Go back to that hospital bed where you marveled at their eyelashes and the peculiar way their toes curled. Take out your summer snapshots of tangled hair over wild eyes and the soundtrack of the laugh you’d stand on your head to hear when they were small. It’s all still there. It may be covered by the snot and tantrums, but it’s there. Squish, tickle, play and pray it out again.

Remember Who Loves them More

It has always comforted me to think that God loves my babies more than I do because it seems almost impossible. But God has a way of making the impossible possible, and I know it rings no more true than in the case of His care for my children. When my worries finally fall away and I drift into a state of slumber, He watches them. When they board the bus that delivers them to school, He goes with them. And when I can’t see into their heart to glimpse the root of behavior, he does. PS, mama — he sees your heart, too, and He loves you more than you’ll ever know.

Remember to Celebrate Small

There are a million moments between milestones. We can dismiss them as nothing more than ways to pass the time or we can see them as opportunities to invest in the lives our children. We can nudge them towards the Savior and watch with joyous anticipation of the day He swoops them right up into His arms. Each day, we can praise Him for the softening of their hearts and increase in understanding. They’re becoming who they will be today — even amidst snot and tantrums (I’m told they grow out of that). They are learning, they are growing, and they are giving us thousands of reasons to praise their Maker if we choose to celebrate small — snot and all.

What do you need to remember most as your raise your children?

Talk to me in the comment section below!

 

 

It Doesn’t Always Feel Natural to Nurture [Day 10: listen]

“Mom. Mom. Mom. Mooooom!” This is the soundtrack of my life it seems. I remember when I was young hearing my mom say she wished she could change her name. I never understood that joke until it leaped out of my own mouth. “Just-a-minute” and “go play” seem to always be on my lips. The world pulls my heart away from motherhood and makes me feel like I’m not measuring up to what it means to be a modern woman in a million different ways.

The big dreams of motherhood can certainly feel far away. I often think way down the road to graduations and wedding days, but there are thousands of days between then and now. And right now, there’s an almost 6-year-old who desperately needs to know why you can see the moon this morning.

What I fail to realize when she seems to do nothing but chatter is that she’s listening, too. And she’s watching. She’s learning from me. She’s finding her way in this world, and she needs my help to navigate it all. Though most of it seems of no importance to me, it appears they are life and death to her.

I think we moms tend to forget that this is what we wanted — to be needed and to nurture. Perhaps we just didn’t expect to be on call for these jobs all. the. time. We forget, too, that we were created to do this. Perhaps we can’t see past our inadequacies to sense this may be true.

My daughter doesn’t know I don’t feel completely prepared — she just knows she needs me. She has a million questions, and I’m her most trusted resource. My daughter needs me to help her find her way to graduation and her wedding day. Baby girl is in a hurry, too! Just the other day, she was crying in a taxi asking me why God won’t tell her who she’s going to marry right now. Someone tell this girl she’s only 5!

Yes, this is what I wanted. It’s wrapped up in tears and drama, and maybe I wasn’t expecting that. Even when I wish I wasn’t, I am needed. I am called out of my self to nurture. Though I was created to do this, it doesn’t always feel natural to nurture. It’s in these moments I see my own desperate need for God’s grace in my life. Yes, I was created to do this — but not without help.

I wonder if Timothy’s mom had these days where she wanted to change her name. Did the future preacher ever get under her skin or inspire after-bed-time sobs on her pillow? We don’t get a glimpse into those days because all the Bible tells us is that Timothy was a great, godly man and it was much thanks to his mama and grand-mama and their unfeigned faith.

If it is my prayer to raise world-changers, I have to be present in their worlds today. I listen and lead and, above all, I pray. I give them over to the God who has the power to change them as I do the work on the ground of molding little hearts. To do that, I have to have real faith like Timothy’s mama. I have to believe God is who He says He is and that He will show up in their lives and mine as we figure this whole thing out together. When I realize the significance of this title I’ve taken, I don’t want to change my name anymore.

 

How do you feel about your title today?

Talk to me in the comment section below!

 

 

True Love Trusts [Day 5: trust]

I love those little videos with the lovely elderly couples that have spent decades laughing with each other and loving each other. They always seem to have witty words of wisdom that melt your heart and kick your pants at the same time. Truly, they are #relationshipgoals. I want to be those people down the road — who wouldn’t? They get begged for their secrets to a happy marriage and their answers vary. One of my favorites is: “Always let her eat the last piece of cake!” That is advice I can get behind!

But the Bible offers even sweeter instruction.

Charity (love) suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-6

True love celebrates small
True love trusts that God is working in the heart of the one she loves.
True love praises the good she sees in him.
True love rejoices when he is walking with God and gets on her knees before the throne when he isn’t.
True love bears the bad days without blabbing her dissatisfaction to her besties.
True love believes the best about her partner.
True love holds high hopes when others have lost confidence.
True love endures when the dreams feel like nothing but a fairytale and the day at hand is rather dull.
True love looks hard in the face and says, “There is good here.”
True love celebrates small.

I want to love my husband well — to be true love in all these ways to him. When I hold myself to this Biblical standard, I am ashamed at all the ways I fall short, but celebrating small sounds like something I can do. I can trust God is working in my marriage and in the heart of my husband. I can trust that as he follows the Lord, he won’t lead our family in a way we shouldn’t go — and if he does,  I trust the Lord will redirect us. It’s a little scary putting your life into someone else’s hands — but true love trusts. True love trusts her spouse — but even more, true love trusts the God who gave him to her.

This life we lead is not promised to be a piece of cake, but I can add as much sweetness as I’m willing to contribute. My name may never be synonymous with true love, but it’s certainly something to strive for. Striving to celebrate doesn’t sound half bad. I think I’ll celebrate with that last piece of cake he better have saved for me or I might re-think this whole thing. Told you I had I long way to go!

How can you be true love to your spouse?

Talk to me in the comment section below!

 

 

The Legs He Stands On

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Ephesians 5:22-24


Ephesians 5 catches a lot of flack, primarily from those hailing from feminist perspectives. It brings up that dreaded s word — submission. But there’s an unstated s word written between these ancient lines of text — support. If my husband is the head of the body, I am the legs he stands on. I support the weight of his dreams, my heart beating along to the rhythm of his hands at work hammering out a sliver of heavenly kingdom by God’s glorious grace.

Support reinforces, strengthens that which it holds up by adding its own properties. Just because I am the support of my husband and his ministry endeavors does not mean I am weak or lesser than. I am a vital component to the man and his work. I can, respectfully and prayerfully, offer what I have to the swirling concrete of mixing ideas and melding dreams. I trust God to guide, to inspire, to lead the craftsman who interprets Biblical blueprints and sweats beads of self in surrender to His will. I’ll see the tools I’ve placed on the table pulled out at the precise time they’re called for. And, I’ll see, ever so slowly a firm foundation begin to set — dreams fulfilled and life well-lived. I’ll thank God I got to be the legs he stood on.

Linking up with Five Minute Friday hosted by Kate Motaung. Join the fun!

 

God’s Grace To Me in Plan B

Five Minute Friday: PLACE

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This place was Plan B.

Plan A was a dream given, and we had hopes to see it fulfilled. Plan A ended abruptly with denied entrance to set destination, and plan B erupted just as quickly. I didn’t choose it. I didn’t even want it. When we parked it in plan B, this new place we knew next to nothing about, I felt just about as hopeless as when we didn’t have a plan at all. I had to face that I was here to stay. I knew I had to learn to love this place lest we all wind up miserable and longing for home.

I’ve had to work at being happy, learning a language, and making friends. I’ve had to learn to love all the peculiarities that make this lovely culture what it is. I’ve had to swallow my pride countless times and wipe tears off shame flushed cheeks more than I care to recall. It’s tempting to think about how Plan A could have unfolded and what life would have been like in that place that seemed to have slightly less unknowns. But, in time,  I’ve come to know this place. I’ve come to love this place. This is my place, and these are my people. Praise God, the faithful One.

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