Post-It-Note Your Feelings, Please

Day 9, Five Minute Prompt: POST-IT

Chance.

At the beginning of our fund-raising phase of our missions endeavors, we met with a group of missionaries to talk marriage in the throes of ministry. We were asked to jot down questions and submit them to the leadership to be addressed during our sessions.

Though it was meant to be private who asked each question, the shade of my cheeks was giving it away.

“How can I help my husband through difficult times if he never shares anything with me?”

Concern.

We had little to show for the hours he spent on the phone and the thousands of miles we logged on our minivan visiting each potential supporter. In attempt to protect me, he had not disclosed his fears about the road we continued trucking along despite the overwhelming obstacles we maneuvered along the way.

I admired his care for me, but I felt alone in the work we were doing together. I wished he would just wear a post-it note on his head revealing his feelings.

Challenged.

We were encouraged to share more openly which is what I hoped he he would hear (I was rather in the habit of pouring out my heart). But I was challenged to love him in the silence, ministering to him in the ways I know bless him.

I was urged to trust him and follow him even when it seems I’m clutching his hand in the dark. At the same time, however, I would remain on my knees before the Lord asking Him to guide my man and make known to me how to help him on his mission.

If I expect him to submit to the Lord as he leads our family, living the Golden Rule, I must also submit to the Lord’s work in my family. I must trust that, ultimately, He is the one who leads the way and that He will direct us as we strive to do His will around the world.

Changed.

I learned to minister to my husband even when I’m left out of his world. Our marriage blossomed even in these difficult times, and, eventually, so did our financial support. I thank God for how this has changed our life and ministry on the foreign field.

Even still, the post-it would be helpful.

Do you feel left in the dark in your marriage?
How can you minister to your husband today?

Talk to me in the comment section!

 

 

The Test He’s Sure to Fail: Does He Really Love Me?

Day 7, Five Minute Prompt: TEST

He loves me…

He loves me not…

He loves me…

Pig-tails hang over slumped shoulders as a girl in a smocked dress rehearses the game she learned so young. She picks silky petals off spring blooms. One special boy in mind, fate is left to an odd or even number..

I’ve grown past this game, but I’m afraid I still bounce back and forth between “He loves me” and “He loves me not.” It’s not that I didn’t believe my vows or trust my husband’s word to be true. It’s just that tangible affections are affirming.

However, when I test my husband’s love on the teetering scale of my emotions, I set him up for certain failure.

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The acts of love must be lovelier. The gestures more and more grand. Not only does he have to measure up to my own lofty expectations, but he also has to compete with every husband represented by women live-tweeting their love.

Pondering the Golden Rule, I sense how unfair such a test is. I wouldn’t want him to measure my love based on today’s mood, especially since I have a cold and my kids hate sleep. I could not even handle thinking that my husband’s head would hit his pillow with any doubt left that he is deeply loved.

I tell myself what I already know: He loves me. He chose me. And I open my eyes to all the ways he shows me. What causes this doubt that I am loved and accepted? It starts between me and the God who made me and it seeps into the seams of my marriage.

God’s love for me has been tested and found to be 100% true. While my husband will never earn perfect marks, I can give him a break because I don’t need proof that I am loved. I find that in the pages of my Bible and in countless evidences of grace in my life. Everything beyond that is the sweetest bonus.

Are you constantly searching for affirmation that you are loved?
Rest in the 100% surety that you are loved today!

Fresh Market FridayFive Minute Friday is where I’m linking up today!