Never Stop Searching [Day 18: SEARCH]

We have worked with a woman for over a year and a half and have shared the Gospel with her countless times. My husband has gone through discipleship lessons with her and her son during this time, and they have eaten countless meals together while discussing spiritual things. What is completely heart-breaking is that she isn’t getting it. She has spent so much time dabbling in other religions and much more feeling justified by her own good works. She can’t see what we call can see — she is lost.We see that she is restless. Her lack of peace is palpable, but she is numb to it. She has stopped searching.

I’m not sure what to do in a situation like this beyond being faithful to love her and tell her the truth. It can be tempting to see ourselves as above others like this lady because we have accepted the Gospel and live a new life in Christ. The fact is, however, even in my redeemed state, there are times I live just like a lost person — I stop searching.

Photo by Ran Berkovich on Unsplash

Psalm 10:4 says, “The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God: God is not in all his thoughts.” We read this verse and see the enemies of the Lord. But if I honestly take a look within, I can also see myself. My pride keeps me from seeking God, from falling on His grace and dwelling in dependence of Him. Rather than living protected in His peace, I leave myself vulnerable to the attacks of Satan when I do not humble myself before God.

I’ve shared countless times on this little blog: Jesus is the reward. Oh, but how many times has my heart been pulled away from Him as I search for peace, purpose, and significance coming from another source. In pride, I look at my lost friend and think, “I’m so glad I’m not like her” as any good old Pharisee would do. When God grabs my heart and stirs me towards humility, I see my state is desperate, too.

Her search will, prayerfully, one day end in Jesus. My search every day ends in Jesus. In my redeemed state, may I continually seek the reward of a intimacy with Christ. He is treasure worth seeking, His value immeasurable. I want to live every day lathering myself in His riches while greedily scooping up more.

But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Hebrews 11:6

I “make” God big in my life when I continue searching to know His heart. I can trust He will bring me towards Himself and reward me with His richest blessings.

Do you continue to seek God each day of your life?

Talk to me in the comment section below!

To Rejoice is Greater than to Rush [Day 15: WHEN]

I wrote the following post for Five Minute Friday a few months ago, and I thought it was so fitting for this series. When my little life is less than what I want it to be or I feel stuck in my current circumstances, I don’t have to continue my pattern of waiting, wishing, and whining. I don’t have to rush from one thing to the next in search of something that will fill me. I can do the will of God even when my feelings war against my joy.

To Rejoice is Greater Than to Rush

When will the kids grow up? When is our ministry going to take off? When are we going to get to go out on a date together again? These thoughts come in waves as I rush from one event to the next always wishing the next more comfortable phase would usher itself in while I’m scrambling to catch up to the chaos of the one that came before. I want the fruits of my labors like yesterday, and I really wish we could just get a hurry up on this harvest we’re waiting for. Oh, and when is it okay to rest? Here I am again waiting, wishing, and whining.

Photo by Kelly Rockhold Photography

In this rush which seems far too routine to me, I wonder what I am missing. I don’t have to search long to find my answer.

Rejoice evermore.
Pray without ceasing.
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

It really couldn’t be more clear than that. While the present may not be savory, it can be sanctifying. I can daily find reason to rejoice rather than rush to the next better thing. The King of the Universe reigns also over my days. I fail never to have the opportunity to commune with him as friend with friend. And I happen to believe that this encouragement to give thanks in every thing is good advice for today, tomorrow and this season and the next one. Actually, forever because I’m told it’s God’s will concerning me, and I know He won’t change His mind on that matter. I want to see what this looks like in daily practice. Do you?

I “make” God big in my life when I choose to do His will be rejoicing, praying, and giving thanks in every circumstance of my little life. 

What can you rejoice in today?

Talk to me in the comment section below!

 

Changing the Way I Petition God [Day 14: ASK]

I had a big burden on my heart and a corresponding prayer request. I had talked with God about this specific need over the course of a few years with no clear answer. I fought discouragement over not receiving this answer for the Lord, but I kept asking in faith that He would give me what I wanted. But then I realized something — my faith was misplaced.

My faith was that the Lord’s will would align with my desires, but this is not what the Bible teaches. John 15:7 says, “If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.” That sure sounds wonderful doesn’t it? We can have whatever we ask! But what we fail to notice is there’s a condition with that promise.

If I want my prayers to be heard and answered by God, I must be spending time with Him growing in my love and knowledge of Him. Something interesting happens when I commit myself to this — my desires and requests begin to align with His will. As my desires more closely mirror His, I am basically asking in faith that He will do what He already wants to do!

Photo by Kelly Rockhold Photography

I surrendered that need to God. Instead of asking for the natural desires that looked like that of any other worldly gal’s, I asked Him to work in my life. I asked Him to change me and all my desires. I said God, “You know I want this thing, but I am trusting You to do your will. Give me the strength I need to accept your answer. I pray above all that your name will be lifted high.”

For the first time regarding this situation, I was in a state of total peace. I remain here, still asking. Still trusting. Hoping each day I get closer to asking for His will instead of what I want.

What desire do you need to surrender to God as you commit yourself to knowing Him?

Talk to me in the comment section below!

Behind Closed Doors [Day 11: DOOR]

I shared yesterday about my identity crisis of sorts which occurred after my son began to attend pre-school. I suddenly found myself with time on my hands — which we know for a mom of young children is a strange feeling! While I’ve always preferred to be out and about or spending time with people, I found that a lot of my time was spent alone. I do have a sweet lady that comes to help me complete the never ending task of cleaning a home in a dusty country, but other than encounters with her and neighbors on my morning and afternoon walks, I had little interaction. More dangerously, I had little accountability.

No one knew how I was spending my day. No one would know what is happening behind closed doors. Thankfully, I had managed to cultivate my devotional and housework habits while my little ones were still home all day. I just found I got them done a lot faster now! I did love to linger in my Bible reading and sip my coffee in peace. But what would I do with the two or three remaining hours before I would go get my son?

Photo by Martin Adams on Unsplash
A new “to-do”

I created a new sort of to-do list to keep my thoughts and plans ordered. It only listed these things: read, write, rest, create, connect, care. I plan to do another post on exactly what each of these entails, but it kept me mainly focused on being in the word and keeping busy while also making time to take care of my body and practice hospitality. Otherwise, I know I would have had a daily date with Netflix. We actually canceled our subscription months ago. Each thing didn’t get accomplished every day, but my list kept me on task until my house filled up again in the afternoon. It also kept me available for my husband and children should they need me during the day. I wasn’t nailed down to some big plan every day, just a few little things that could be squeezed in here or there or rolled into the next day’s list if necessary.

Daily questions

Aside from the to-do list, there are questions I need to ask myself about what happens behind closed doors:

  • Is who I am in private who I am in public? Or what I would want people to perceive me to be?
  • Am I spending my time in idleness (looking at you, Instagram) or in a way that honors Christ?
  • Would I be comfortable with someone I am discipling seeing who I am behind closed doors — or looking at my internet history or mirroring my TV screen?
  • Does my alone time indulge my desires or lift up the needs of others?

As I ask myself these questions I keep Scriptures like this one in mind,

Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God.

1 Corinthians 4:5

Time to grow

No one will probably praise me for staying home a few days of the week, but I know this is my training ground. I shared with you that my prayer is for my schedule to fill up with opportunities for discipleship and ministry. This does not mean that I should wander through this time aimlessly, but rather spend it intentionally. I should be seeking God and growing in my knowledge of Him. As I grow in the Word, I grow in my ability to lead others. I know the Lord will use this time in my life for the rest of my life and ministry.

For now, I want even my empty hours to honor Jesus.

I “make” God big in my life when I seek to honor Him in all the time He gives me — including my much longed for personal time.  

How can you honor Christ behind closed doors?

Talk to me in the comment section below!

How to Embrace the Smallness of Your Life [Day 10: HOW]

We started our son in pre-school just before he turned three years old. While I don’t feel a compulsion to explain myself to the internet world, I believe we had valid reasons for sending him. The reasons were based mainly on culture and our desire for him to have time with other children — something he was not getting at church or around the neighborhood. In the long run, I’ve seen that it has been so good for him. There are days the mommy guilt creeps back in when I compare myself to some rockstar homeschool mom, but I recognize that God guides us to lead our families in different ways all for His glory.

I suffered an identity crisis when my kids were gone for several hours a day. I didn’t know how to fill my time. I was restless yet idle much of the time. I was wrecked by the insignificance of my existence and resented that no one needed me most of the waking hours of the day — which is funny because I had moments of resentment about being constantly needed in the newborn years. The heart is so fickle.

Photo by Kelly Rockhold Photography

In the last year, God has done a work in my heart to train me to embrace the smallness of my life. I’ve learned to trust Him in every aspect and to use me in little ways as I seek to serve Him with the time He gives me each day. He has used the empty hours to make me fall in love with Him more than ever and revel in the life He has given me. While I could never present an exhaustive list which ensures this outcome, I do believe there are a few things we can do to truly embrace the unique lives and callings God gives each one of us.

Repent Sin

Realizing that that my longing for something that God had not granted me was a straight up sin was a big deal for me. I also had to take a hard look at myself and see that many of my ambitions were not God-given but were purely self-motivated. Recognizing the sin, I must repent over and over as I stumble each day. Moving forward, I must make choices that reflect heart change by the Spirit’s hand.

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, (Hebrews 12:1).

Give Thanks

This is the anecdote for many of my problems. I must learn to be truly grateful for the opportunities and graces God gives to me. Every good thing comes from Him. I will see that He has done great things in my life if I pause to give thanks for each one of them. Even the trials of life or daily disappointments come from His hand, and I can trust He will use it for my good according to His infinite wisdom.

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Say “No” to Self

I must surrender my dreams and desires each day to the Lord. I have to decide day by day to trust Him with my collection of concerns and cares. Dying to self, I make way for the Lord to work through me without interference from me. This is the “return” of the repentance. I turn from my sin of selfishness, eyes on Jesus all the way.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you (Matthew 6:33).

Enjoy the Lord

One of my favorite Scriptures is Psalm 37:4 which admonishes believers to delight in the Lord. The promise attached is that He will give you the desires of your heart. I’ve come to understand over time, however, that this doesn’t mean He gives me everything I want. As I delight in my relationship with Him, loving and learning more of Him, He changes me. He changes my desires to mirror His and accomplishes His will in my life. One of the greatest purposes and privileges of a child of God is to know and enjoy the Savior. When my focus is on loving Jesus, service is an outflow of my full heart for Him.

Thou wilt shew me the path of life:
In thy presence is fulness of joy;
At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Psalm 16:11).

I “make” God big when I embrace the small role He gives me to play in this big world and just enjoy being His.