Humility: My First Move in the Fight for my Marriage

Day 8, Five Minute Prompt: MOVE

I accidentally mixed up prompts 15 & 8, but in the spirit of giving myself grace and not scrapping a perfectly good post, I’m just swapping them. Anyway, I keep thinking maybe someone needs this like I do…

We are both stubborn. When the words begin to raise the temperature in the room, neither side is quick to concede to cooling it. He is better at sticking to his guns than I am. I usually forget what I wanted in the first place, but I still want to win, so I keep talking in circles.

I have met people who claim they have never had a fight with their spouse which leads me to believe one of two things:

1) They never talk

2) They have a different definition of the word “fight” than I do.

When a disagreement arises, so does an opportunity to show a tremendous level of respect for my husband. I can keep digging a deeper hole of hurt to bury him in, or I can choose humility before we go too far down our lists of grievances and end up knee-deep in regret.

I forget that we are on the same team. We fight for wholeness and happiness in our marriage, of course, but we also fight for the testimony of the work of Jesus in our lives.

Humility is so rarely my first move. Remembering the Christ that moved towards me in complete disregard of Himself, I am convinced it needs to be. I do quite enjoy being right, but I enjoy being right with my husband and portraying a right picture of the One we represent much more.

Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it
(1 Peter 3:8-11).
Do you need to make humility your first move?

Let’s get a conversation about the Golden Rule in our marriages going!

 

The Test He’s Sure to Fail: Does He Really Love Me?

Day 7, Five Minute Prompt: TEST

He loves me…

He loves me not…

He loves me…

Pig-tails hang over slumped shoulders as a girl in a smocked dress rehearses the game she learned so young. She picks silky petals off spring blooms. One special boy in mind, fate is left to an odd or even number..

I’ve grown past this game, but I’m afraid I still bounce back and forth between “He loves me” and “He loves me not.” It’s not that I didn’t believe my vows or trust my husband’s word to be true. It’s just that tangible affections are affirming.

However, when I test my husband’s love on the teetering scale of my emotions, I set him up for certain failure.

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The acts of love must be lovelier. The gestures more and more grand. Not only does he have to measure up to my own lofty expectations, but he also has to compete with every husband represented by women live-tweeting their love.

Pondering the Golden Rule, I sense how unfair such a test is. I wouldn’t want him to measure my love based on today’s mood, especially since I have a cold and my kids hate sleep. I could not even handle thinking that my husband’s head would hit his pillow with any doubt left that he is deeply loved.

I tell myself what I already know: He loves me. He chose me. And I open my eyes to all the ways he shows me. What causes this doubt that I am loved and accepted? It starts between me and the God who made me and it seeps into the seams of my marriage.

God’s love for me has been tested and found to be 100% true. While my husband will never earn perfect marks, I can give him a break because I don’t need proof that I am loved. I find that in the pages of my Bible and in countless evidences of grace in my life. Everything beyond that is the sweetest bonus.

Are you constantly searching for affirmation that you are loved?
Rest in the 100% surety that you are loved today!

Fresh Market FridayFive Minute Friday is where I’m linking up today!

The You of the Golden Rule

Day 6, Five Minute Prompt: YOU

 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets (Matthew 7:11-12).

The Golden Rule is not about you.

It’s not about me.

It’s about God and his goodness.

It’s about how the gate is wide and the way is narrow and what our lives say to those who haven’t been captivated by the Love that calls us down it (v 13-14). In our efforts to be like Jesus, we depend completely on His grace to bear fruit which makes His presence in us known (v. 16-20).

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Karma says “do good so good will be done unto me” while grace says “You can’t repay me, but I will serve you anyway.”

Grace looked at us in all our filthiness and died to make us its own. That redemptive act moves us to say, “I will lay down my life for the least of these because I know Whom I serve.” We serve the Almighty God who put on flesh and died a criminal’s death so we could fall in love with Him.

It’s about Our Father who gives us good things.

Proclaiming His name in our families and among the nations is the best gift we’ve been given after salvation.  I want to live as a servant sharing Christ and helping a few more people find the narrow road. I’ll sing and serve my way to golden gates.

What does God’s grace move you to do?

Talk to me in the comment section!

Money Matters and Pink Nightmares

Day 2, Five Minute Prompt: PAINT

Channeling my inner Joanna Gaines, I chose the perfect neutral for the interior walls of my new home on the mission field. I was feeling pretty good about it until the sun streamed in, revealing that my Magnolia dreams had turned into a bubble-gum-pink nightmare.

I furiously pushed the stroller that held my three month old back to the missionary’s house that hosted us. Hot tears streamed down my face as I hurled harsh words at the version of my husband that lives in my head. He had tried to convince me it would look fine after sunset, but who wants to live in a house that only looks good in the dark?

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I would later find out that pink is a popular choice here, and I wouldn’t even be mad when the church building we leased turned up blush from top to bottom. But right now, all I could think of was my decor dreams that suffered an untimely death.

The walls were re-painted the next day. The painters we had hired weren’t as upset with me as my husband was, but they weren’t too pleased about having to do all the work a second time.

When the work was done, my husband accidentally overpaid them by 10,000 rupees (100 USD). They were miles away before anyone was the wiser, but they came back immediately to return the difference.

They didn’t know it, but this act of integrity would help shape a right perspective of these people we came to love and kill my spoiled-brat attitude. I would still have stress dreams about curtains, and our home would be wrecked by an earthquake 10 days later, but my faith that God was working in the details was restored that day.

I strive to be honest in my dealings with others. In a cash society, mindfulness in money exchanging is particularly important. Budding relationships and my gospel testimony in this community are at stake. Money matters.

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Owe no man any thing, but to love one another:

for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law (Romans 13:8).

How we treat others in our financial dealings is important.
In what way can you apply the Golden Rule to money matters today?

Talk to me in the comment section!

 

Everyone Needs Someone to Walk With

Day 1, Five Minute Prompt: WALK

“Do you need a friend?” I hear them say to one another as they travel down dusty streets.

The sweet people of my host culture can’t stand to see someone walking alone. They aren’t as eager to walk with the red-headed foreigner lady, I’ve noticed, however.

I thought by now I would have found a friend with whom I’d walk this road of culture and language learning. I guess I’ll just have to keep going until I do.

As I go along, I’ll find others who walk alone and say, “Do you need a friend?”

If we’re honest, we all do.

And if you’re like me, you sometimes feel like you’re standing alone, watching others walk happily hand-in-hand (friends actually do that here). You’re pining for the kind of intimate friendship it seems like everyone else already has.

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I’ve shared before how I love…

what the Word says about friends…
  • friendly (Prov. 18:24)
  • love at all times (Prov. 17:17)
  • comfort and edify (1 Thess. 5:11)
  • encourage to love and live better (Heb. 10:24-25)
  • live selflessly and sacrificially (John 15:13)

I may not be invited on a lot of long walks with close friends. But the more I extend my hand to those who walk alone, the more I will be invited along the way. The deeper my relationships will run, and the more influence I will have for Christ in this country.

Who do you see walking alone today?
How can you apply the Golden Rule to your relationships?

Talk to me in the comment section!