Whose I am is What Matters Most [Day 19: WHO]

The biggest holiday in this country is happening right now. It’s strange how lifeless our neighborhood is during the day. At night, some festive gatherings take place and the volume takes it up a few notches. Most shops are closed and many people have gone out to the villages to celebrate with their family. My kids get their longest break from school at this time (they only got 8 days for summer break!). They will be home for a whole two weeks. I’m enjoying having them home, but it is sort of a shift in mindset and mode for me. With few people around to connect with and even less to do, I feel somewhat lost and limited.

Keeping up the house with these tornadoes home all day has been challenging. Every time I clean up a mess, two more are made! My routines have been completely undone, and I started this break with an empty fridge and pantry — total rookie move. I can ride the waves of these emotions of failing my family and not being useful in ministry at this time. This is what I would typically do, but thankfully, I’ve really had a shift in understanding of these matters in the last year.

It’s a major trap of the enemy to make us slaves to our own roles and callings. He tells us that we are what we do, but the Scripture tells us something completely different.

But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law, To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons. And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.Howbeit then, when ye knew not God, ye did service unto them which by nature are no gods. But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage?

Galatians 4:4-9

The Gospel tells me who I am. I am a beloved daughter of the King of the world. He bestows the fulness of His love and His richest blessings on me… on purpose! I’m not a slave to the law or to my roles or callings. What I do does not define who I am. Who I am is unchanging because He who holds me is unchanging. He’s not counting the dirty dishes in the sink or how many times I’ve lost my temper with my kids today. Yet, He delights when I walk in repentance as a child who messes up but truly desires to please her Father.

Productivity or pursuit of perfection in my life can put me right back into bondage, but I am made to be free. I can be free not because of anything I’ve done but because of what Christ has done. All because I am known of God and loved by God.  I want to say I’m never going back, but I know the vulnerability of my heart to fall into this snare again and again. I’ll keep telling myself — and Satan too — that I belong to Christ, and I am not a slave to anyone or anything.

My house may be a wreck, my kids may be a bit wild, and I may not get any “real” ministry done this week. but one thing sets my heart straight: I am treasured by God.

How does your identity as a child of God change how you leave each day?

Talk to me in the comment section below!

Never Stop Searching [Day 18: SEARCH]

We have worked with a woman for over a year and a half and have shared the Gospel with her countless times. My husband has gone through discipleship lessons with her and her son during this time, and they have eaten countless meals together while discussing spiritual things. What is completely heart-breaking is that she isn’t getting it. She has spent so much time dabbling in other religions and much more feeling justified by her own good works. She can’t see what we call can see — she is lost.We see that she is restless. Her lack of peace is palpable, but she is numb to it. She has stopped searching.

I’m not sure what to do in a situation like this beyond being faithful to love her and tell her the truth. It can be tempting to see ourselves as above others like this lady because we have accepted the Gospel and live a new life in Christ. The fact is, however, even in my redeemed state, there are times I live just like a lost person — I stop searching.

Photo by Ran Berkovich on Unsplash

Psalm 10:4 says, “The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God: God is not in all his thoughts.” We read this verse and see the enemies of the Lord. But if I honestly take a look within, I can also see myself. My pride keeps me from seeking God, from falling on His grace and dwelling in dependence of Him. Rather than living protected in His peace, I leave myself vulnerable to the attacks of Satan when I do not humble myself before God.

I’ve shared countless times on this little blog: Jesus is the reward. Oh, but how many times has my heart been pulled away from Him as I search for peace, purpose, and significance coming from another source. In pride, I look at my lost friend and think, “I’m so glad I’m not like her” as any good old Pharisee would do. When God grabs my heart and stirs me towards humility, I see my state is desperate, too.

Her search will, prayerfully, one day end in Jesus. My search every day ends in Jesus. In my redeemed state, may I continually seek the reward of a intimacy with Christ. He is treasure worth seeking, His value immeasurable. I want to live every day lathering myself in His riches while greedily scooping up more.

But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Hebrews 11:6

I “make” God big in my life when I continue searching to know His heart. I can trust He will bring me towards Himself and reward me with His richest blessings.

Do you continue to seek God each day of your life?

Talk to me in the comment section below!

To Rejoice is Greater than to Rush [Day 15: WHEN]

I wrote the following post for Five Minute Friday a few months ago, and I thought it was so fitting for this series. When my little life is less than what I want it to be or I feel stuck in my current circumstances, I don’t have to continue my pattern of waiting, wishing, and whining. I don’t have to rush from one thing to the next in search of something that will fill me. I can do the will of God even when my feelings war against my joy.

To Rejoice is Greater Than to Rush

When will the kids grow up? When is our ministry going to take off? When are we going to get to go out on a date together again? These thoughts come in waves as I rush from one event to the next always wishing the next more comfortable phase would usher itself in while I’m scrambling to catch up to the chaos of the one that came before. I want the fruits of my labors like yesterday, and I really wish we could just get a hurry up on this harvest we’re waiting for. Oh, and when is it okay to rest? Here I am again waiting, wishing, and whining.

Photo by Kelly Rockhold Photography

In this rush which seems far too routine to me, I wonder what I am missing. I don’t have to search long to find my answer.

Rejoice evermore.
Pray without ceasing.
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

It really couldn’t be more clear than that. While the present may not be savory, it can be sanctifying. I can daily find reason to rejoice rather than rush to the next better thing. The King of the Universe reigns also over my days. I fail never to have the opportunity to commune with him as friend with friend. And I happen to believe that this encouragement to give thanks in every thing is good advice for today, tomorrow and this season and the next one. Actually, forever because I’m told it’s God’s will concerning me, and I know He won’t change His mind on that matter. I want to see what this looks like in daily practice. Do you?

I “make” God big in my life when I choose to do His will be rejoicing, praying, and giving thanks in every circumstance of my little life. 

What can you rejoice in today?

Talk to me in the comment section below!

 

My Hope is in You, Lord [DAY 7: HOPE]

Our interns returned to America this past Wednesday. During their last service at our church, they had the opportunity to choose one last song to sing. They chose “My hope is in You, Lord” — in Nepali, of course. I tried not to make eye contact with my friend, and I noticed she looked tearful too. It was a sweet way to end their stay here, each of us proclaiming that our only true, lasting hope is in the Lord.

What a necessary reminder, too, it was to me personally — especially as we sent two of our friends back to America. My hope is not in having friends around to share our life with. It should not be in our team growing or our ministry taking off. It can’t be in my kids following the path I’d choose for them or my marriage standing on solid rock for the rest of our days together. In marriage, motherhood, and missional living, Jesus is the only thing I can confidently put my hope in.

Photo by Kelly Rockhold Photography

The people in our ministry and those that hold the ropes back home may let us down. Our marriage may fall on hard times. Our kids will stray from what we have taught them… AND people come to stay a while and then have to go back where they came from! If I put my hope in these things, I can only be sure of one — the fall will be that much harder.

Putting my hope in Christ, I rest in the promise that no matter what happens He is with me and will sustain me. When people or circumstances leave me reeling, I have a constant source of comfort and strength in the Lord. Because of all He has done and all I can trust Him to do, my hope is secure.

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.

He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved.

In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.

Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us.
Psalm 62:5-8

In Christ, my hope will never be misplaced.

I “make” God big in my life when I choose to put my hope in Him alone rather than in my circumstances or my relationships. 

What earthly things have you placed your hope in?

Talk to me in the comment section below!

When I can’t Remember Why [Day 4: WHY]

“Why” is a question I find myself answering a lot. My kids often ask why we can’t just hop over to America and visit with our grandparents. Taxi drivers and shopkeepers inquire about why we would live in this country when many of them would give anything to live in America. Others, disapprovingly ask why we are trying to change the culture of this beautiful country. When the smallness of my life seems to contrast with what might be if I lived and served on the other side of the world, I ask myself why we put ourselves through all that we do.

The following is from a post I wrote earlier this year, and it’s worth reminding myself all these months later.

Photo by Kelly Rockhold Photography

I agreed to serve Jesus because He gave His all for me, and I am compelled to do all I can to magnify His great love. 

I agreed to work alongside my husband as we cross-cultures to share Christ because I trust him completely and believe in him wholeheartedly.

I agreed to learn a language and culture because there are millions of people that haven’t heard the Gospel in their heart language, and I may have the opportunity to change that — even if only for a few.

I agreed to raise my children away from the comforts of our home and our family because Jesus is worthy, and I want them to know that more than any other lesson I could teach them.

Jesus is worthy. Because of that I will agree to keep serving Him every day of this little life He gives me. I trust that one day — whether here or in heaven — the impact of that decision will far exceed my expectations. I’ll see our BIG God was at work in amazing ways in my little life. All because I agreed to all the little things He asked me to do. It all seems like small potatoes compared to what he’s done for me.

I “make” God big in my little life when I combat the frailty of my heart with God’s truth. I remind myself that the life He has called me to is worth agreeing to while I trust Him to work His way in it.

What is your “WHY” that keeps you following Jesus?

Talk to me in the comment section below!