The Test He’s Sure to Fail: Does He Really Love Me?

Day 7, Five Minute Prompt: TEST

He loves me…

He loves me not…

He loves me…

Pig-tails hang over slumped shoulders as a girl in a smocked dress rehearses the game she learned so young. She picks silky petals off spring blooms. One special boy in mind, fate is left to an odd or even number..

I’ve grown past this game, but I’m afraid I still bounce back and forth between “He loves me” and “He loves me not.” It’s not that I didn’t believe my vows or trust my husband’s word to be true. It’s just that tangible affections are affirming.

However, when I test my husband’s love on the teetering scale of my emotions, I set him up for certain failure.

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The acts of love must be lovelier. The gestures more and more grand. Not only does he have to measure up to my own lofty expectations, but he also has to compete with every husband represented by women live-tweeting their love.

Pondering the Golden Rule, I sense how unfair such a test is. I wouldn’t want him to measure my love based on today’s mood, especially since I have a cold and my kids hate sleep. I could not even handle thinking that my husband’s head would hit his pillow with any doubt left that he is deeply loved.

I tell myself what I already know: He loves me. He chose me. And I open my eyes to all the ways he shows me. What causes this doubt that I am loved and accepted? It starts between me and the God who made me and it seeps into the seams of my marriage.

God’s love for me has been tested and found to be 100% true. While my husband will never earn perfect marks, I can give him a break because I don’t need proof that I am loved. I find that in the pages of my Bible and in countless evidences of grace in my life. Everything beyond that is the sweetest bonus.

Are you constantly searching for affirmation that you are loved?
Rest in the 100% surety that you are loved today!

Fresh Market FridayFive Minute Friday is where I’m linking up today!

21 Comments

  1. Sorry to hear that you are unwell and your kids aren’t giving you a break in the sleep department 🙁 🙁 Your post is so stunningly written and contains a beautiful depth of insight – I love that line about testing his love on the teetering scale of your emotions – I need to repeat that one to myself a fair bit, I think!

  2. Amber: Love surely can be a fickle thing. Especially, when we follow our emotions. We choose love, because God did, when he gave us a Savior, Jesus.

    Visiting from FMF & 31 days of free writes/write 31 days.

  3. So true not to weigh what is going in on in our real lives against what people are sharing on social media. Since most people only share the perfect we are sure to fail against such measurement.

  4. I saw the look of love just today when he smiled that certain smile over the lunch table. I see that smile quite often, actually. It is always special. But I see his love when we hug and when we kiss and when we care about one another and when we do the dishes together and … and … My husband is a precious one and I know that he loves me for he knows the love of Christ first. Then he can love me without conditions…his or mine.
    Great post!! Gave me some sweet thoughts.

  5. so apparently you had me in mind when you wrote this. haha but really something that I have been struggling with a lot lately. Wishing that I can allow His love for me dictate the love I can show to my husband. Love all of this. going to pin it. visiting from #55

  6. Amber, this is a poignant message for women of all ages! How often our emotions drive our perception of affection or lack of. And our husbands are caught off guard completely when we act on these perceptions. I’ve been guilty myself, and I appreciate this reminder to guard the very gift we’ve been given and to guard against being ruled by emotions. I’m so honored to have you sharing here at Fresh Market Friday! Hugs, Crystal

    • Crystal, you’re so right about this catching them off guard! It really isn’t fair. Learning so much about this. I still feel like a total rookie! Thanks for connecting with me here, Crystal. You are an encouragement to many.

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